Program 37 - Andrea Helmuth

Welcome to healing the land with Kevin Mitschelen, brought to us by pure assembly.


Welcome to another program called Healing the land. And I have a guest with me, Andrea Helmuth. And I am excited to have her with with us on this program under. Thank you, you've been on our program before. And so I'm so appreciative that you've been able to come back and this time around, we're going to share just a little more personal aspects of your life. And that that's not ever easy to do. But so thank you for being on the show. Thank


you for having me. It's great to be back.


Yeah. So the last time you were here, you answered the question that I ask anybody and everybody, and that is that you love Jesus Christ. And the last time you said yes, I still assume that's affirmative.


It is still true. wholeheartedly, wholeheartedly. Okay.


Sounds good. So, I think also the last time you mentioned the fact that you grew up in a family that loved Jesus Christ, can you share just a little bit about that? Because people are still getting to know who you are?


Yeah, yeah, I grew up with parents who love the Lord. And we're pursuing him and pursuing his work in their life. And I remember at four years old, hiding in a closet, I think I was playing hide and seek with my sister, but I was in the closet. And I remember praying at that time, and just having an intimate conversation with the Lord. And then it was Middle School, where I started to claim the space as my own right. And then in college, went even deeper, and had mentors who, who stretched me and and showed me more of who Jesus is. And so yeah, I love them with my whole,


I can I see walk the halls and things, and it's because we have the same church, and I see walk the halls and, and you're you, you can definitely see the Spirit of the Lord in you. And and so in your, when you talk to people, and you're in you're giving them counsel or just simply saying, the bathrooms over here. There's a joy there, and it's very apparent, you can tell someone has that peace or joy. And that's the way life has always been, you can usually see that God that you love God.


Right. And that right, there's a testimony of him. Right, exactly. Because on Sunday morning, when you see me in the hallways, I don't always feel that way. And so it's a testimony, but that, that's what comes out. So yeah, it's him


God's good. So we're going to talk about an area that a lot of times when we this program is called Healing the land. And I thought, boy, this would be just really appropriate to talk about this particular area. And that is, I think the Bible describes as the gift of singleness. And we want to not approach this in. I love how you wrote almost your first paragraph to explain some of the things about singleness. And that is that this is not a woe is singles conversation, not at all at all. And you're single, and you've, you've had many different experiences, which are extremely Kingdom building narratives. So can you just kind of walk us into that a little bit? Yeah.


As I was sharing with you earlier, when I graduated from high school, I thought I would get married in my early 20s and have a family and I remember being in third grade, and thinking about what my family would be like. And so following high school, I just had the sense in my heart that God had something different for me. And at that time, I could not have articulated that it would be singleness. And I remember looking at older single women and going, oh, Lord Jesus, please don't have that for me. Please don't let that be. And now I find myself in my early 50s and still single, not married yet and can look back on life and see how God has used that. And now that I'm working at a church, I see it said even more like we don't have good examples in the larger church. Yes of I should. There are good examples in local congregations sometimes you just don't feel like there's the marriage is kind of what's emphasized Yeah. And so I'm like Okay, Lord, if you're gonna use me to display the value of singleness in the kingdom, go for it


because of the the narrative in the world. And you see that also into the church because the church also takes that narrative in many cases it this is just singleness. But we do this in so many different other areas, too. And I think of you know, I was just sharing again off off air but I think it's good to bring this up into the to the part and that is Just turn the TV on. And then all of a sudden you see a movie and you see this one person who is like, you can't see my emotions. But you know, it's a completely far from each other. They almost don't like each other, but it's like in the back of my head, they're going to get together. And that narrative is played over, and over, and over and over again. And so that's, that's an area that that has to be. It's, it's thrown at you, whether it's at church, or even away from church as well. Right. Yeah. Right.


And both in the world and in the church. We've, we've made that kind of the, the center of our realities, in a lot of ways.


But you don't see that in the New Testament, so to speak. Right, right. Right. What's going on there? White?


Yeah. So oh, probably four or five months ago, I was watching a message by David Platt. Yeah. And I've turned remember what the name of it was. Anyways, it's on YouTube. It was a message on on singleness. And he took us into Isaiah, Isaiah 53, where it's describing, it's a prophetic word about the Messiah who was coming right, and all that he would do. And it's the passage that talks about him burying our sicknesses and carrying our diseases and that, that he took that punishment upon himself, right. And then the further that you go in verse 10, of Isaiah 53, it says this, yet the Lord was pleased to crush him severely. When you make him a guilt offering, he will see his seed, he will prolong his days. And if you start looking at different versions of the Bible, the Amplified Version says, He shall see his spiritual offspring. The NIV says he will see his offspring. And the New Living Translation says he will have many descendants. And you go, okay, so it's talking about Jesus. Yet he has no physical seat, right? He didn't bear married, wasn't married, didn't have any children, right? So like there's this flip in the narrative, that you can actually have a spiritual offspring. Yes. And if you go further down in chapter 54, it starts and it says, Rejoice childless, one who did not give birth burst into song and shout, you who have not been in labor, for the children of the desolate one will be more than the children of the married woman says the Lord. And blessing when I read that, like, I just started to cry. And when I saw in a new and fresh way, I went, Lord, like, I don't have to have physical offspring. Yeah. In order for my life to have value. And I think that's the narrative. I've heard most of my life that, that I have to be married, and I have to have children in order to be blessed from the Lord. And I'm like, No, this year's telling me to rejoice. That that doesn't have to be the case that spiritual offspring. When Jesus comes on the scene, spiritual offspring becomes the thing, right? It's go into all the world, and preach the gospel, preach the good news, baptizing and making disciples of all nations, right. That's where the emphasis is in the New Testament.


And that amazing how something written literally 1000s of years ago, can touch the heart today and touches so deeply to know that you are creating these different at through Jesus Christ, right. offspring, right. And it will be from generation to generation to generation. And that's being affected, right, by what, how you're discipling people. The last time you ran the program, you're talking about working with college students. And so you discipling and working with that next generation that's come through I know, in your when we were prepping for the show, you talked about I believe your nieces. Yes. Right. And they're like your children, in many cases scenario. So to be able to honor God through that, right,


right. And I mean, just thinking about my role as an aunt. If I had my own kids, I wouldn't be pouring into my nieces and nephews the same way I do right now. I wouldn't have the time because I'd be pouring into my own children. And if we got together as families, it would be the kids relating and not so much. Me relating and I'm speaking from, like, how I know I operate. There may be people out there who are able to do it all and do that well, but because I'm single, yeah. I've had some incredible experiences being an aunt, incredible experiences pouring into my nephew who's now 27 and has his own daughter. And my youngest niece who's six, we just hung out on Saturday, and we had such a good time together. So yeah, it's truly a joy to be able to play into the littles in my life, the young people in my life in a way that I might not have been able to if I were married


otherwise, yeah. And we don't want to in this program somehow say, Well, okay, now singleness is really cool and marriage just isn't right. That's not exactly what we're talking about. And it's there's a value in both right? That makes


sense. I think that's what Scripture shows us. That there is great value in both, um, that there are things that we learn about God and about the Kingdom of God through marriage. And there are things that we learn about God and the Kingdom of God through singleness.


Yeah. So I'm with being somewhat and we only have three minutes in this section here the program, but and then we'll touch I think, on the other side, as well, right? How does the big C church? Big C church, right look at singleness. Yeah. Okay, put a big boy pants on for a second.


Yeah, um, my experience has been that singles are valuable, because they have more time and assumed more energy. But not all singles are young, I will just point that out. And so I've described it this way, I often feel like I am at a Thanksgiving meal, and being asked to sit at the kids table, rather than being asked to join the adults, as a single person. There's just kind of this mentality that life starts once you get married. And so if you find yourself like me, 50 in single or if you're, you know, 60 and widowed or, you know, like, you, it kind of feels sometimes like you're relegated to being a kid again. Yeah. And that's not fun.


No. So have you seen that? Change?


Yeah. For me, personally, it's just been speaking up. And I'll give you a real life example. I was out with some girlfriends the other week. And it's a group where we have a span of ages from 20s to 60s. And some of the those in the group that were that are married, they were asking me lots of questions about singleness. And so I was just sharing my experience. And then the conversation moved on. And they were talking about the separate clubs that they do with their spouses, and that it's all these couples that get together and do the supper club. Yeah. So I spoke up and I said, Hey, why don't you invite the single to that? That would be a lot of fun. Yeah. And last week, I went to my first supper. So you know, it's doing those little things included


things. Absolutely. And you should be included those things, right? Absolutely. Yeah. Well, we're gonna come into another break here. I hate to do that. It seems it's strange that all of a sudden, 14 minutes is just zipping by here. Yeah. So we're gonna hit on the other side of the program here. And I think this is those kinds of things where we should be talking about and, and also when it comes to healing land, because God loves His creation. And and so no matter what size or box that may come in, so why don't we take a break, and we'll be back in just a few seconds with healing the land, I just do want to remind you just really fast that healing. The land is sponsored by pure assembly impure assembly is has an initiative of 180 days of prayer. You can join that anytime prayer is always happens. But we're really trying to see an emphasis on prayer, and the next 100 days, because we are just, we're expecting great things from God. And we're going to press into that. So thank you, we'll see you and just on the other side of things.


I am Dawn born member of pure and healing the land is brought to you by pure assembly. Pure assembly is a nonprofit with a mission to heal the wounds of a divided and injured nation through prayer, unity, repentance, and edification. To learn more about us, check us out at www dot pure assembly calm or find us on Facebook, just search for pure assembly. While you're there, we'd love you to like us to thanks for listening to healing the land


versus healing the land. And again, I'm always glad to have you back. I hope you're excited to be with us. I know. I'm excited to be here. So and Andrea, you're excited? Yes, yes. Okay, good. And so I'm grateful that you willing to share some of your hearts. And I'm very excited that that we have someone like you who's willing to in some ways represent singles and kind of speak out a little bit about what's been in your life and how you've been able to experience things. And as we were talking, as you mentioned last, on the last part of the program that you grew up, you were thinking in terms of okay, I can't get married right now and my prince charming and like a Disney movie, and hey, we're all we're all set. But that's not how God has brought your life through. So far. Not at all. Yeah, yeah. So um, when we're on the on the break, you're talking about maybe how married couples maybe can look at singles, and singleness, maybe as well. So can you lean into that a little bit?


Yeah. And I would also say, how singles can look at singleness. Yes. Yes. Like, how do you live this this life? When when you feel like you're waiting for something. And so yeah, like, I've just had a number of experiences in the church, whether it's moving to a new place, and having to look for a new church by myself for six months, and Sunday after Sunday, get up and go to church by myself, and try to fit in, or sitting in a pew and communion taking place all around me, with families. And that being the instruction that we're going to take this with our families, and then to be sitting there by myself. Right, right. And so with the the example of looking for a new church, like I, as a single had to step up and find friends and say, Hey, will you go with me? I know you have your own home church, but will you go with me this Sunday to check this one out and be somebody that I can bounce this off of and have feedback from? I've had to get brave in a lot of ways I go out to eat by myself all the time.


Yeah. And then this culture, that's not norm.


Right. I learned to take a book. Yeah, I used to do college recruiting college admissions. And so I was on the road by myself all the time. So okay, so I had lots of practice at it. Yeah. But I just want to encourage the singles who are listening, be brave, like be courageous. Ask to go to somebody's house for dinner, ask to be invited in. And for those who are married, look for opportunities to incorporate singles into your life. I, I have some friends in life that that I will call up and say, Hey, can I come over for dinner? And they know it's a two way street? Like I show up? And maybe a baby needs a diaper change? I will do that for you. Right? It's not me just sitting there waiting for you to make dinner for me. Yes, right. Yeah. It's I like to call folding people into your family. And it doesn't even just need to be somebody who's single, like, fold other people. And that's what the body of Christ is all about. Like that emphasis in the New Testament. It shifts to the body of Christ. Like it's about all of us. That's It's about all of us living life on life. It's not just about my home and my family and what I'm doing. It's a bigger picture. It's a bigger narrative. So yeah, if you are sitting in a service and and communion is being taken, and you're asked to do it, as families, look around, see if there's a single person that you know, and pull them into your family to take communion, because that can be really lonely. Yeah. Or if you see a single sitting in the pew by themselves or in the chair by themselves, pull them in, invite them. And they may say, No, that's okay. But give them the opportunity to be invited in my very best friend in the whole world. They invite me to go on vacation with them. So every year I know that I can use my vacation time to go with them. Because being single, that's one of the hardest things for me sometimes. Sure. I have all this vacation time. Who am I going to go with? Am I going? My friends? They're they're going with their kids on spring break. They're doing family things, which is great. Yeah, they should be doing. But it's such an honor when I get invited into that. And I have something that I get to do.


Thanks for sharing it. Because that's something I'll be honest with you. It's just not even on my radar. Right? Unfortunately. Right? Yeah. So thank you your buffer saying there because it just you know, you when you see someone that maybe a little kid or something, you may be thinking those, okay, how do I help someone? But, you know, you're you are a person who is, at least on the appearance, right? Got it all together, you know, you got the great job, you got all these things, you know, and but you don't think about the person on the inside, right at times. And here's the area in which I could be touched that that with with help me, right part of the kingdom,


right? Like a couple of months ago, I was talking with a friend and I said, I want to paint the shutters on my house. What kind of paint do I use? Because I have no clue. I'm a fairly new homeowner. And next thing you know, she's texting and saying, could we come over and help you do that job? And I was so grateful. And it took us a Saturday afternoon to do it. And I said, Oh, I don't know what I would have done without you. And she said, Well, it would have taken you three Saturdays instead of just one. Yeah, I'm like, Yep, that's right. So it was just really, really nice to have someone go, oh, you could probably use some help around the house too. So yeah, to be looking for opportunities. And that was a lesson for me to go, oh, I shouldn't feel alone in this, I should ask people to come and help me as a single, like, I pay a kid to mow my yard. Yeah. Cuz I'm like, I can't manage it all by myself. So. So I have a friend who has a senior in high school, and he comes and he moves for me. And I'm just so grateful for that. But I had to be the one to be brave, and initiate that and say, Oh, it's okay. If I pay for that. Yeah, it's okay. If I have someone come and do that. I don't have to feel like I have to carry the whole load by myself.


Let me find out who that kid is. I love knowing but at the same time, every now man, I'm so glad we're getting into yard work. To do snow plowing. Anyways, I pay a kid for that. We find that kid it's fun to laugh a little bit. Yeah. And you know, here's the other when you're talking about marriage, and all those things. The one thing about two, three years into our marriage that I had with, that I have with Rhonda. I began to, to understand a little bit the fact that I have value in Christ. And I can't have Rhonda become that person that gives me that total value, right? She's my helper, and I help her and we do life together. But to have that ident my identities in Christ or act, it has to be it doesn't matter if you're married, you're single, right? Otherwise, you're gonna have a pretty stinky life.


Yes, you are. I'm so grateful for my married friends who are willing to share with me the challenges of marriage. Yeah. And, and to remind me of what you're talking about, like, the, their identity is as a woman is not in their spouse. And that there are some really messy things that that come up right there. Um, and so as a single, I need to be reminded of that, because it's easy to look on the other side and go, Oh, the grass is always greener. Yeah. And then for my married friends, it's easy for them to look at my life and go, Oh, you could sleep in whenever you want to spend your money the way you want, you know, do whatever. You can be a little more selfish. And for me to remind them, oh, but it's not always as you think. Yeah. It started as it appears. Yeah.


And you as you mentioned, just having that person that's by your side. This is a can be a good, it is a good thing. Right. Yeah. And at the same time, though, I understand the value of I'm sure my wife, you know, he's a good guy, but I see that yes, yes. Love you. Okay. So I, you know, when it comes to you, you have a little topic on here that, that you've shared with me, and that is you the leadership roles in in the Big C church. Yeah, because I'm a big C guy. I just love. I love the Bride of Christ. Yeah. And yeah, I know, know, your heart there. What does it look like? As far as maybe your experiences not too detailed, but experiences of leadership? Because you do have some leadership role, right, that you do. And from a former pastors perspective, and looking at going, Ah, you know, what, all the people on my on the leadership committees and things are all married, right, every single one of them. I'm like, I blew, I blew some opportunities there. Can you talk into that for a second?


I think it's important to have singles leaving small groups. I think it's important to have singles on your leadership team, to have them speaking into topics that are relevant to your congregation, right. I think it's important to have that voice. Because a single individual represents a fair number of people in your church. It's those who've never been married as those who became single because of a divorce. And it may not have been what they planned for life. There's a deep grief going on there. And you have singles who are our widows and widowers that in an instant their lives were changed. And so there are lots of people coming in who are single and so it really is important to have their perspective and their take on things. And again, I think it it displays something about the kingdom, like marriage shows us something about the covenant relationship with God right. Which is a beautiful and wonderful thing. singleness shows us something about The waiting for the bridegroom to come, right? Like, that's where we're at currently. So if you have a single in your congregation who is faithfully waiting for what God has for them, even if it means that marriage never happens for them, like, they're showing this commitment to Jesus, and saying, like, he's my ultimate bridegroom, like, I'm showing you as a church body, like, this is how you wait, this is how we wait. And so whether it's in a sermon to use examples that singles can connect to, there are moments where we'll have somebody give us a message on relationship. And at the beginning, they they do a disclaimer and say, there's something in here for everyone. Yes, if you're single, don't check out. And so like, I'll stay engaged for a while. And then I realize, oh, there's no there. There's nothing here for this kind of check out. So like to truly use examples, one of the pastors that our church was doing a message on relationships, and he asked me about it. And I said, well throw in some examples of an aunt or an uncle. And he's said, Oh, I never would have thought of that on there. Right. And, and so we did that. And it was such a blessing to me to go, oh, yeah, you care? Yeah, you care, to show me in a practical way, how what you're saying speaks to my life. So yeah, those are just a couple of examples of what we can do at the church level.


That's great. And, you know, I think we could go into it's one of those. This is one of those programs where we're not taught or not able to talk enough in 30 minutes, there's no way to do that. And they do appreciate your heart and your willingness to at least try to scratch the surface on this because it's a it's a joy. And also, it's not easy, right at the same time to do this in the culture in which we have, right so


which can be said about anybody, like in marriage? I would imagine that there's part of it. That's a joy, and there's part of it. That's not easy in our culture.


Yeah, I can be a smelly office sometimes. So yeah. So thank you, Andrea. Yeah, for taking the time to speak on I think, a very important topic, such as this. And, and like you said, there's so many they're listening right now. They're there if they found themselves being single, however that might look. But the Lord, the Lord loves you. And, and takes wonder and care in you so much.


Yeah. And he's been there, right. Yeah. So yeah, I just want to encourage singles that are listening, make you're seeing you're known. Be brave, you know, step out courageously at times, and for those who are married, love on the singles well, and fold them into your family if you have opportunity


with that, man, hate to say goodbye to you, folks. But we're gonna have to do that until another week comes by but Thank you, Andrew, for being with us and pure assembly. Thank you for sponsoring the program, healing the land, God bless you. Take care.


Second Chronicles 714. If my people who are called by my name, humble themselves, and pray and seek my face, and turn from their wicked way, then I will hear from heaven and forgive their sin and heal their land.


Healing the land is brought to you by pure assembly. Pure assembly is a nonprofit with a mission to heal the wounds of a divided and injured nation through prayer, unity, repentance, and edification. For more ways to get involved and to be a part of their ministry. You can reach them at www dot purer assembly.com That's p u r e assembly.com. Or look for pure assembly on Facebook.



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